By an AI Consultant at Avanzar AI
If you’ve spent any time talking to ChatGPT, Claude, or even your voice assistant, you’ve probably heard someone say: “Make sure to say please and thank you!” Maybe they’re joking—or maybe they’re not. As someone who works with AI every day at Avanzar AI, I found myself wondering: is politeness really necessary when interacting with artificial intelligence?
Recently, two articles caught my attention. One was from TechRadar, which highlighted just how much time and money OpenAI is investing to train models like ChatGPT to respond well to polite users. We’re talking tens of millions of dollars spent on fine-tuning models with human feedback—much of it based on conversations where users say “please” and “thank you.” The other was a thoughtful piece from the University of New South Wales, which explored whether being polite to AI might shape our own behavior more than the AI’s.
The short version? The AI doesn’t care. But you might.
Technically, most AI tools don’t require manners. They’re designed to understand intent, not social etiquette. Say “Show me a chart of quarterly sales,” and you’ll get what you asked for—no “please” required. But here’s where things get interesting: researchers and developers have found that when people speak politely, the tone of the AI’s response often shifts in kind. Not because the AI has feelings, but because it has patterns.
When you say “please,” you’re more likely to get a response that’s a little warmer, more detailed, or just more cooperative. Maybe it’s because the model has been trained on millions of conversations that reward this tone. Or maybe, as the UNSW article suggests, being polite just primes you to think more clearly, stay calm, and frame better prompts.
So I decided to test this myself.
Over the past week, I ran a small experiment. I gave ChatGPT and Claude a series of identical tasks—once with polite phrasing, once without. No major difference in outcomes, but I did notice some subtle variations. The polite prompts often returned slightly more complete answers. They also seemed to produce more helpful follow-ups. For example, “Can you please help me write a job description for a marketing analyst?” got me not just the description, but also a suggested salary range and interview questions. The blunt version—“Write a job description for a marketing analyst”—returned the basics, and nothing more.
Coincidence? Maybe. But it happened often enough that I started leaning toward the “why not be polite?” camp.
Here’s the bottom line: no, you don’t have to say “please” to your AI tools. They won’t take offense. But if you’re not getting the results you want—or you’re just curious—try adding a little courtesy into your prompts. You might find the responses slightly more useful. At the very least, it’s a good reminder that how we interact with tools can shape our own mindset.
At Avanzar AI, we help businesses and nonprofits explore these kinds of questions every day. Whether it’s prompt design, workflow automation, or training teams to work with AI more effectively, we’re always experimenting with ways to make AI more responsive and human-friendly.
So go ahead—say “please.” Or don’t. Either way, the future’s listening